Thursday, November 4, 2010


I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. Things have been very hectic lately. A new teaching job for the wife and a new school for the kid has my life turned upside down. All of a sudden I'm the wake up call, the breakfast maker, the organizer of the mornings, the taxi cab and finally the man I used to be--working 10 hour days at my 'real' job and then trying to write more books while still promoting my first book "Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male." 

The nights are not much better, what with homework for the kid and grading papers by the wife, I am the maker of dinner, the doer of laundry, the cleaner of the house and finally the man I used to be--the support they both need. But who supports me? They both do but in different ways. It's so nice to see them happy with the choices they have made, the success they both have and the way our family blends together. So my life may have changed, the responsibilities may have changed, and the way we do things may have changed, but we are still the same old family.

This brings me to last Sunday--Halloween. Growing up Halloween was my favorite holiday besides Christmas. These two days meant a lot to me, but in different ways. Christmas brought the broken family together. We'd spend Christmas Eve at my dad's place, being with grandparents and aunts and uncles who we only saw on this day due to the divorce. Then Christmas day was spent at mom's place, socializing with the side of the family who we all knew and loved so well. By stringing these days together it allowed me the luxury to 'pretend' everyone cared.

Halloween was my way of disappearing. I would dress up, well into my twenties, as someone new.The costumes all changed, but they all had one thing in common--a mask of some sort. Just like the main character used 'Disco Phil'  as an alter ego in my book, I used these masks to hide my true identity and become someone I wanted to be. The safety of being unknown was comforting to me. It was a long, hard journey before I believed and accepted myself for who I was.

So last Sunday, I was expecting to walk my kid around the neighborhood trick or treating and seeing all the other 'hidden' beings. But my son surprised me--he said he was too old for all that. He said that he was talking to his friends about Halloween and how they used the holiday the same way I did, to disappear and be someone else. He decided, along with three other friends, that they didn't need to 'hide' anymore. He told me he was comfortable with who he was, that he liked his life, and that the lessons I had written about in the first ten chapters of my book have helped him make new friends and become more accepted by others.

Pretty heavy stuff coming from an eleven year old!

So instead of trick or treating, the three of us sat on our front porch as a family and gave out some candy to those who still use Halloween as a get-away. And I thought about the good old days...and then asked myself
Did Ya' Ever Notice that kids grow up very fast these days?

To see the lessons that I let my son read, and was talking now about, come to and buy my book. I hope they help your sons and daughters understand more about life, too!


  1. Hi Philip, I'm a first time visitor to your blog after seeing your post on Get Your Blog Followers.
    It's funny my son is a similar age to yours and I was actually suprised when he wanted to dress up for Halloween last weekend !!
    It's so true that children do grow up very fast these days.
    I'm now going to read through some of your back posts and I'll try and post some comments as I go.

  2. Hi Philip!

    Interesting to read about your family and the harmony you have together.You are taking the responsibility a father should.