As I say in my book Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male "life is about learning, sharing and helping others." I believe that there are many ways to help out, and not only around the holidays. Most people think that if they act out and donate around the holidays that they are doing a good thing. I'm not arguing that they aren't, I'm just saying that those who are looking for help need it all year long.
I share the wealth with every book that I sell. The Children's Miracle Network is a great organization which raises funds for children's hospitals in many countries. Most months I give 25% of my profits to this charity. But for the rest of 2010, I will be giving 50% instead.
I know not all of you have books that help you donate or can even afford much this year. The economy has really taken a bite out of us 'do-gooders' as many of us continue to struggle just as much as some the charities do. Remember what karma teaches us though--all good deeds will be returned. As the holidays are approaching, this would be a great start to a better new year for all of us. If possible give $10 or $25 if you can afford it...if not, there are many other ways to help out those that need it.
My blogger friend Karen has a great list of how you can help those in your community. Her last blog entry on "Practical Frugality" is a great resource. See for yourself what ideas she has to help those that need it on a daily basis. You'll be surprised how easy it can be.
Did Ya' Ever Notice that when you do something nice for someone else, someone does something for you in return? Let's make it a great holiday for everyone out there this year!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Reflections
I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. Things have been very hectic lately. A new teaching job for the wife and a new school for the kid has my life turned upside down. All of a sudden I'm the wake up call, the breakfast maker, the organizer of the mornings, the taxi cab and finally the man I used to be--working 10 hour days at my 'real' job and then trying to write more books while still promoting my first book "Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male."
The nights are not much better, what with homework for the kid and grading papers by the wife, I am the maker of dinner, the doer of laundry, the cleaner of the house and finally the man I used to be--the support they both need. But who supports me? They both do but in different ways. It's so nice to see them happy with the choices they have made, the success they both have and the way our family blends together. So my life may have changed, the responsibilities may have changed, and the way we do things may have changed, but we are still the same old family.
This brings me to last Sunday--Halloween. Growing up Halloween was my favorite holiday besides Christmas. These two days meant a lot to me, but in different ways. Christmas brought the broken family together. We'd spend Christmas Eve at my dad's place, being with grandparents and aunts and uncles who we only saw on this day due to the divorce. Then Christmas day was spent at mom's place, socializing with the side of the family who we all knew and loved so well. By stringing these days together it allowed me the luxury to 'pretend' everyone cared.
Halloween was my way of disappearing. I would dress up, well into my twenties, as someone new.The costumes all changed, but they all had one thing in common--a mask of some sort. Just like the main character used 'Disco Phil' as an alter ego in my book, I used these masks to hide my true identity and become someone I wanted to be. The safety of being unknown was comforting to me. It was a long, hard journey before I believed and accepted myself for who I was.
So last Sunday, I was expecting to walk my kid around the neighborhood trick or treating and seeing all the other 'hidden' beings. But my son surprised me--he said he was too old for all that. He said that he was talking to his friends about Halloween and how they used the holiday the same way I did, to disappear and be someone else. He decided, along with three other friends, that they didn't need to 'hide' anymore. He told me he was comfortable with who he was, that he liked his life, and that the lessons I had written about in the first ten chapters of my book have helped him make new friends and become more accepted by others.
Pretty heavy stuff coming from an eleven year old!
So instead of trick or treating, the three of us sat on our front porch as a family and gave out some candy to those who still use Halloween as a get-away. And I thought about the good old days...and then asked myself
Did Ya' Ever Notice that kids grow up very fast these days?
To see the lessons that I let my son read, and was talking now about, come to http://www.philipnork.com/ and buy my book. I hope they help your sons and daughters understand more about life, too!
The nights are not much better, what with homework for the kid and grading papers by the wife, I am the maker of dinner, the doer of laundry, the cleaner of the house and finally the man I used to be--the support they both need. But who supports me? They both do but in different ways. It's so nice to see them happy with the choices they have made, the success they both have and the way our family blends together. So my life may have changed, the responsibilities may have changed, and the way we do things may have changed, but we are still the same old family.
This brings me to last Sunday--Halloween. Growing up Halloween was my favorite holiday besides Christmas. These two days meant a lot to me, but in different ways. Christmas brought the broken family together. We'd spend Christmas Eve at my dad's place, being with grandparents and aunts and uncles who we only saw on this day due to the divorce. Then Christmas day was spent at mom's place, socializing with the side of the family who we all knew and loved so well. By stringing these days together it allowed me the luxury to 'pretend' everyone cared.
Halloween was my way of disappearing. I would dress up, well into my twenties, as someone new.The costumes all changed, but they all had one thing in common--a mask of some sort. Just like the main character used 'Disco Phil' as an alter ego in my book, I used these masks to hide my true identity and become someone I wanted to be. The safety of being unknown was comforting to me. It was a long, hard journey before I believed and accepted myself for who I was.
So last Sunday, I was expecting to walk my kid around the neighborhood trick or treating and seeing all the other 'hidden' beings. But my son surprised me--he said he was too old for all that. He said that he was talking to his friends about Halloween and how they used the holiday the same way I did, to disappear and be someone else. He decided, along with three other friends, that they didn't need to 'hide' anymore. He told me he was comfortable with who he was, that he liked his life, and that the lessons I had written about in the first ten chapters of my book have helped him make new friends and become more accepted by others.
Pretty heavy stuff coming from an eleven year old!
So instead of trick or treating, the three of us sat on our front porch as a family and gave out some candy to those who still use Halloween as a get-away. And I thought about the good old days...and then asked myself
Did Ya' Ever Notice that kids grow up very fast these days?
To see the lessons that I let my son read, and was talking now about, come to http://www.philipnork.com/ and buy my book. I hope they help your sons and daughters understand more about life, too!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Perception is Your Reality
Did Ya’ Ever Notice that people may see the same thing, but all have different perspectives on what they saw? Here is one example of this—the picture which some people see as two lamps, but others view as two faces instead. Why does this happen? What causes them to see differences in the same event? In my book “Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male” I address this and use the line “Perception is your reality” to explain it. I say that I noticed that men and women are different and process info differently. I also state that neither may be wrong, but that outside influences may affect how they process the information.
Let’s take another example. In my town right now there is a big buzz surrounding the shooting of a man by Metro police at a Costco one busy Saturday in July. They are holding an inquest (like a jury trial) to see if the police were justified in shooting him. As the witnesses start telling their versions of what happened, although they were all present for the same shooting many differences begin to emerge. Does this mean some are right and some are wrong? Probably not, just that they all processed the info differently. Many of the younger witnesses “saw” things in a different way than those who were older. And men saw things different than the women.
The younger people didn’t see a gun being drawn by the man who dies. They saw him make a movement towards his side or back, but never saw a gun. The older witnesses actually saw a gun…but the men saw a black one, while the women saw a silver one. Why the disparity? Could it be how they were brought up? The younger people may have less focus for actual situations which arise. They are so busy with I-Pads, cell phones and such, that maybe they don’t focus in like others. Maybe the older women don’t know much about guns so they just assume they saw a silver one, like the ones they grew up with while watching Gunsmoke or John Wayne movies. The men all saw black ones and could describe it and its holster…most of the other witnesses never saw a holster. Are the men trying to prove they are better at knowing guns, or are they just making this up to feel important?
The younger witnesses remember hearing “Get on the Ground” being said many times by many voices. The older witnesses swear they heard “Drop the Gun and get on the ground” being said two or three times by the same officer. Even the policeman who gave the commands doesn’t remember saying “Drop the gun”, but there it is clear as day on the 911 tape right before “Get on the ground” was said three times. How can so many people hear different things at the same event? Again can age play a part? Nowadays, on most cop shows, you hear “Get on the Ground” or nothing at all as the suspect is being shot with a taser gun. Back in the day when the older witnesses were growing up, “Drop your weapon” was always used. This leads to another point—if the office said “drop your gun” on the tape, wouldn’t it be safe to say the offender was holding a weapon?
Another example of this comes when different people read my book. Some read it as a memoir—thinking everything must be true. Others read it as a fiction story—assuming that all of it is just a story. Even though in the preface of “Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male’ I state that “Everything you read has a basis in truth…some events may have been embellished or altered” the question remains is it truth or fiction? Does it really matter at all?
The younger the reader is, the more they believe it is fiction because they don’t have any situations in their life to compare mine to. The book is about a young boy of the sixties whose parents get a divorce. Nowadays, divorce is very common, but back then it was considered a sin and thus hidden from everyday life. Those involved were shocked and reacted differently than they may in the world today. The older the reader the more they understand the circumstances back then.
The journey the young boy takes as he searches for acceptance and happiness takes him on adventures where he makes mistakes, but doesn’t realize them until much later. Once again, the younger reader doesn’t get this, while the older ones do. Sometimes it is easier to look back at what you did and realize it was wrong than it is to do while your doing it.
The one thing that all who read my book can agree on is that it is "a fascinating story." That "the stories that have emerged are ripe with feeling and diversity." And that "everyone who has felt different at any time of their life will understand the true meaniong behind this book."
In both cases--the shooting and the reading of my book--the perceptions which a person takes away from them are indeed their own reality. Who am I to say if they are right or wrong? All I know is that even when two or more people see (or read) the same thing, the experience isn’t always the same for each. Sometimes your upbringing, your age and those things that you believe in will take precedent in how you perceive what happened and how you react to it.
Obviously you don't want to recreate the shooting, but you can form your own opinions about my book. Why not buy copy from Amazon and see what your reactions will be. Please share them with me here or on http://www.philipnork.com/ under the “Guestbook” tab.
Remember, perceptions really are your own reality. And don’t let anyone tell you any different.
Let’s take another example. In my town right now there is a big buzz surrounding the shooting of a man by Metro police at a Costco one busy Saturday in July. They are holding an inquest (like a jury trial) to see if the police were justified in shooting him. As the witnesses start telling their versions of what happened, although they were all present for the same shooting many differences begin to emerge. Does this mean some are right and some are wrong? Probably not, just that they all processed the info differently. Many of the younger witnesses “saw” things in a different way than those who were older. And men saw things different than the women.
The younger people didn’t see a gun being drawn by the man who dies. They saw him make a movement towards his side or back, but never saw a gun. The older witnesses actually saw a gun…but the men saw a black one, while the women saw a silver one. Why the disparity? Could it be how they were brought up? The younger people may have less focus for actual situations which arise. They are so busy with I-Pads, cell phones and such, that maybe they don’t focus in like others. Maybe the older women don’t know much about guns so they just assume they saw a silver one, like the ones they grew up with while watching Gunsmoke or John Wayne movies. The men all saw black ones and could describe it and its holster…most of the other witnesses never saw a holster. Are the men trying to prove they are better at knowing guns, or are they just making this up to feel important?
The younger witnesses remember hearing “Get on the Ground” being said many times by many voices. The older witnesses swear they heard “Drop the Gun and get on the ground” being said two or three times by the same officer. Even the policeman who gave the commands doesn’t remember saying “Drop the gun”, but there it is clear as day on the 911 tape right before “Get on the ground” was said three times. How can so many people hear different things at the same event? Again can age play a part? Nowadays, on most cop shows, you hear “Get on the Ground” or nothing at all as the suspect is being shot with a taser gun. Back in the day when the older witnesses were growing up, “Drop your weapon” was always used. This leads to another point—if the office said “drop your gun” on the tape, wouldn’t it be safe to say the offender was holding a weapon?
Another example of this comes when different people read my book. Some read it as a memoir—thinking everything must be true. Others read it as a fiction story—assuming that all of it is just a story. Even though in the preface of “Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male’ I state that “Everything you read has a basis in truth…some events may have been embellished or altered” the question remains is it truth or fiction? Does it really matter at all?
The younger the reader is, the more they believe it is fiction because they don’t have any situations in their life to compare mine to. The book is about a young boy of the sixties whose parents get a divorce. Nowadays, divorce is very common, but back then it was considered a sin and thus hidden from everyday life. Those involved were shocked and reacted differently than they may in the world today. The older the reader the more they understand the circumstances back then.
The journey the young boy takes as he searches for acceptance and happiness takes him on adventures where he makes mistakes, but doesn’t realize them until much later. Once again, the younger reader doesn’t get this, while the older ones do. Sometimes it is easier to look back at what you did and realize it was wrong than it is to do while your doing it.
The one thing that all who read my book can agree on is that it is "a fascinating story." That "the stories that have emerged are ripe with feeling and diversity." And that "everyone who has felt different at any time of their life will understand the true meaniong behind this book."
In both cases--the shooting and the reading of my book--the perceptions which a person takes away from them are indeed their own reality. Who am I to say if they are right or wrong? All I know is that even when two or more people see (or read) the same thing, the experience isn’t always the same for each. Sometimes your upbringing, your age and those things that you believe in will take precedent in how you perceive what happened and how you react to it.
Obviously you don't want to recreate the shooting, but you can form your own opinions about my book. Why not buy copy from Amazon and see what your reactions will be. Please share them with me here or on http://www.philipnork.com/ under the “Guestbook” tab.
Remember, perceptions really are your own reality. And don’t let anyone tell you any different.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)