Growing up and referenced many times in my book "Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male" is a thing called courtesy--treating others with the respect they deserve. You know things like holding open a door for the next person to step through or holding an elevator, possibly using your turn signal when changing lanes or turning, and always walking to the right of the middle. These all used to be common place occurrences you would see every day. But something has happened...where have these things gone?
People seem to be much more "me" orientated these days...gone are the days of helping others or even just being friendly. What I see daily are people fighting over the last sample at a Costco demo cart, sneaking into someone else's parking space and it seems like no one even smiles at each other any more. When is the last time you said good morning to a stranger?
So with all this happening why should I be surprised that business courtesy is also missing--all businesses are run by these same people.
This subject came up as I was discussing book reviews with my editor. He asked how things were going and my reply was "There doesn't seem to be any trust any more in the world. I am getting e-mails daily from "respectable" companies or people who would love to read and review my book. They say they have read the first 25 pages from my website http://www.philipnork.com/ and really would like the opportunity to help promote my book. So I send them a copy, spending $5.00 for a postage fee, and wait...and wait...and wait! One out of every 4 of these businesses never get back to me. Does that mean they never received the book, or maybe read it and didn't like it, or possibly was it a scam just to get a free book? "
I don't have the answers...maybe I don't even know the questions anymore...but all I ask is for a quick e-mail explaining why there is no review done. If you don't like the book, that's fine. If you didn't understand it, no problem, if it just wasn't your cup of tea, I truly understand. What I don't get is why you spend your time e-mailing me in the first place and then never follow through.
Courtesy...is it a thing of the past? Or am I just ranting on and on about nothing? Come on authors, I am sure you have had this or something like this happen to you. Please share your vents here with me...maybe we can make a difference!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
A roller coaster of a week...
Last week reminded me of growing up--there were so many ups and downs, goods and bads, and just plain old emotional stuff that I was finally glad it ended.
To start the week on Sunday, I had my ten year old son call his grandmother in Illinois to wish her a happy 70th birthday. They talked for a while and then it was my turn. As my mom and I hung up I felt the tug of tears come over me and wished that we lived closer than the distance between Illinios and Nevada. After gaining control, I read the parts of my book "Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male" which pertained to her and started crying again. This time it was more from a sense of happiness rather than a sad reason.
On Tuesday I went and picked up my son from school, stopped for a Starbucks and preceeded home. As we walked into the front door we were surprised by the presence of two ladies sitting on our couch talking to my wife...it was my sister and my mom. Nowhere in the converstaion of a few days earlier did she mention she was coming to visit. It turned out to be my sisters birthday present to her...but it also was a gift to me and my son.
After spending a few days together and reconnecting, they left and those sad feelings came over me again. But that was nothing in comparision to what happened on Friday. I got an e-mail on facebook from one of my old friends from back home...she was worried about her ex-husband, one of my best friends. He had just learned that his father had terminal cancer and only had a few months to live. His dad was one of only a handful of men I ever trusted growing up--he was like a second father to me, actually a first father as mine had left years earlier. I called my friend and we shared old times and left with the understanding that his dad would be out of pain soon and that he should celebrate the times left.
I was feeling rather down after these events and it made me think about age and how time never stops passing us by. That took me back to my grandmother and great-grandmother, I talk about them in the book, and again the feelings of depression came over me...actually it was more of a feeling of remembrance.
On Saturday morning I woke up to another e-mail, this one from a lady who read my book and reviewed it. It turned my whole week around. Nicole wrote a great review and asked me for an interview. You can read both of them at Books, Books Everywhere.
It is now Monday and I am looking for an act of kindness. I guess that all three of these times above fall into that category. To my mom and my sister for just being themselves and for coming to see us, to my best friend's dad for being there back when I needed someone and finally to Nicole for making me feel good about my book again, Sometimes I wonder if anyone really "gets" the book, but then someone like her comes along and reads exactly what I wrote. Thanks to you all!
Till next week!
Phil
To start the week on Sunday, I had my ten year old son call his grandmother in Illinois to wish her a happy 70th birthday. They talked for a while and then it was my turn. As my mom and I hung up I felt the tug of tears come over me and wished that we lived closer than the distance between Illinios and Nevada. After gaining control, I read the parts of my book "Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male" which pertained to her and started crying again. This time it was more from a sense of happiness rather than a sad reason.
On Tuesday I went and picked up my son from school, stopped for a Starbucks and preceeded home. As we walked into the front door we were surprised by the presence of two ladies sitting on our couch talking to my wife...it was my sister and my mom. Nowhere in the converstaion of a few days earlier did she mention she was coming to visit. It turned out to be my sisters birthday present to her...but it also was a gift to me and my son.
After spending a few days together and reconnecting, they left and those sad feelings came over me again. But that was nothing in comparision to what happened on Friday. I got an e-mail on facebook from one of my old friends from back home...she was worried about her ex-husband, one of my best friends. He had just learned that his father had terminal cancer and only had a few months to live. His dad was one of only a handful of men I ever trusted growing up--he was like a second father to me, actually a first father as mine had left years earlier. I called my friend and we shared old times and left with the understanding that his dad would be out of pain soon and that he should celebrate the times left.
I was feeling rather down after these events and it made me think about age and how time never stops passing us by. That took me back to my grandmother and great-grandmother, I talk about them in the book, and again the feelings of depression came over me...actually it was more of a feeling of remembrance.
On Saturday morning I woke up to another e-mail, this one from a lady who read my book and reviewed it. It turned my whole week around. Nicole wrote a great review and asked me for an interview. You can read both of them at Books, Books Everywhere.
It is now Monday and I am looking for an act of kindness. I guess that all three of these times above fall into that category. To my mom and my sister for just being themselves and for coming to see us, to my best friend's dad for being there back when I needed someone and finally to Nicole for making me feel good about my book again, Sometimes I wonder if anyone really "gets" the book, but then someone like her comes along and reads exactly what I wrote. Thanks to you all!
Till next week!
Phil
Monday, February 22, 2010
Book Review-Musical Chairs
Last week I was sending out requests to other authors seeing if anyone wanted to review my book Sensitivity 101 for the Heterosexual Male and was pleased when Jen Knox replied back to me. Jen asked if I wanted to do a cross promotion--one where she read my book and I read hers. Since I had never done that before, and it sounded interesting, I agreed. So, here is my act of kindness for this week--my first book review.
In Musical Chairs by Jen Knox, we get to see the honest and painful story of one girl's past. As you learn about her running away from not only her family, but in reality from herself for a while, you can feel the pain she suffers. As she tries to fill the void, she falls into other vices--bad relationships, friendships that don't work out, alcohol, drugs and becoming invloved in the less than perfect occupation of stripping--and it is a wonder she feels the need to continune on. Not beng a woman myself, I can only imagine that other young girls feel the same things at times and hope that they take different measures in order to find themselves.
It is ironic that the way Jen "comes back to life" is through trips to visit her grandmother, who is slowly losing her own life to mental illness. And although at first Jen is apprehensive, these trips let her re-unite with the great-grandmother she never met and allows her to connect emotionally to her. Despite all this and her constant batlle fighting her own panic attacks, finally Jen is reunited with the family she once ran away from and reconciliation is complete for now. But I'm sure there is more to the story...
Honest, hard-hitting and sometime hard to believe, Musical Chairs is not your typical "feel-good" get lost for a few hours book. It is a real life, sometimes hard to read, book about recovery and inner self. The author bares her soul and allows the reader to see that not all is perfect about life, but that with hard work you can through most anything. You must credit Jen for her honesty and for being strong enough to let her story be known.
So there you have it, my first book review. Any comments, how'd I do?
Until next week
Phil
In Musical Chairs by Jen Knox, we get to see the honest and painful story of one girl's past. As you learn about her running away from not only her family, but in reality from herself for a while, you can feel the pain she suffers. As she tries to fill the void, she falls into other vices--bad relationships, friendships that don't work out, alcohol, drugs and becoming invloved in the less than perfect occupation of stripping--and it is a wonder she feels the need to continune on. Not beng a woman myself, I can only imagine that other young girls feel the same things at times and hope that they take different measures in order to find themselves.
It is ironic that the way Jen "comes back to life" is through trips to visit her grandmother, who is slowly losing her own life to mental illness. And although at first Jen is apprehensive, these trips let her re-unite with the great-grandmother she never met and allows her to connect emotionally to her. Despite all this and her constant batlle fighting her own panic attacks, finally Jen is reunited with the family she once ran away from and reconciliation is complete for now. But I'm sure there is more to the story...
Honest, hard-hitting and sometime hard to believe, Musical Chairs is not your typical "feel-good" get lost for a few hours book. It is a real life, sometimes hard to read, book about recovery and inner self. The author bares her soul and allows the reader to see that not all is perfect about life, but that with hard work you can through most anything. You must credit Jen for her honesty and for being strong enough to let her story be known.
So there you have it, my first book review. Any comments, how'd I do?
Until next week
Phil
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